Dating

3 reasons why having a doughnut is better than having a boyfriend

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As a 22-year-old single woman I have found myself a part of the modern hookup culture. I have to confess: I hate it with every fibre of my being. Technology today has made the already frustrating process of dating even more painful. Being single in the 21st Century has taught me that dating often leaves me feeling confused and annoyed. As I contemplate the trials and tribulations of dating I find myself thinking about doughnuts. In order to understand how I got from dating to doughnuts you would have to be inside my head; a scary place I recommend steering clear of. Regardless of how I got here I have officially concluded that I would rather have a doughnut than a boyfriend. Here’s why:

1. Doughnuts smell delicious. 

They don’t reek of body oder after they hit the gym. They don’t fart or burp. Doughnuts always smell good. In fact they often smell so good they make my mouth water. Does anyone know of a perpetually good smelling man? I didn’t think so.

Doughnuts: 1 Men: 0 

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2. Doughnuts are always sweet. 

They don’t play mind games or ignore your texts. Doughnuts are genetically engineered to be sweet, men are not. Can someone show me a human man in this world who is always sweet? I didn’t think so.

Doughnuts: 2 Men: 0 

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3. I can see right through doughnuts.

I never have to worry about a doughnut pretending to be something it’s not. I can literally see right through it. It’s much more challenging to see-through a man than a doughnut. With a doughnut I always know exactly where I stand.

Doughnuts: 3 Men: 0 

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So the next time a man has you upset ditch him and grab a doughnut and you won’t be disappointed (I never am). As you can see the scoreboard doesn’t lie: doughnuts are better than boyfriends.

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– XOXO J.

 

Featured photo via tumblr

Gifs via giphy 

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