It’s just one of those weird facts of life: there’s always a reason why some things don’t work out the way you thought they would. Remembering this when it feels like you are losing everything can seem impossible. When your heart is broken, when you feel rejected or when it feels like you’ve failed. It’s difficult in these moments to stop and think: “one day I will be grateful for this”. But, when you make a conscious decision to be grateful for things ending you open your mind to other possibilities. In these moments we grow.
It will take time, but one day you will wake up and finally feel grateful some things didn’t turn out the way you hoped they would. You’ll realize we often desire things we lose out of lack, not because they would honestly help us thrive. You’ll be grateful because what you learn about putting yourself together after a loss is invaluable. Most of all you’ll be grateful because there is rarely ever a relationship that ends that you won’t be better for having let go of.
Breakdowns turn into breakthroughs – we just don’t know it at the time
I was 19 the first time I had my heartbroken. This is when I learned physical pain isn’t always the worst kind. I thought I would never be happy again. But with time I was able to realize the lessons I learned from giving my whole heart to someone who didn’t cherish it. He was the one who taught me my worth will never be found in someone else; my worth is found within myself.
Lessons learned from loss are more important than never losing
I was 21 when, for the second time, I believed I had come across someone who was sent to me by the universe. He made me happy, but only for a short time before he moved on. This loss reminded me that not everyone is meant to stay in your life; some people come into your life to teach you something before they move on – this is okay.
If you had asked me how I felt about the loss of these relationships moments after I would have given completely different answers. I would have been bitter and sad – wallowing in self-loathing, depression blurring my vision, preventing me from seeing the bigger picture: that every loss is an opportunity to learn.
Give yourself time
Let yourself hurt and grieve – don’t ignore these emotions. But, at some point make the conscious decision to let go. Let yourself see things from the other side and be grateful some things didn’t work out the way you once hopped they would. Be patient. Trust that the future will show you why.
Featured image via weheartit