As women, we tend to overthink everything. While men can be complex creatures in regards to certain things; sometimes they give us the simple answers we need. The problem is: we dissect and pick apart the most minuscule moments, hoping to figure out what men are thinking when it comes to relationships when the answers are usually right in front our faces.
Of course there is always exceptions to this rule. There’s the f*ckboy disguised as a nice guy, there’s the almost relationship and sometimes it really isn’t you but it’s him. BUT in the wise word of Alex from He’s Just Not That Into You: you are not the exception, you are the rule.
It is hard to believe that men can be simple with their feelings. By simple, I mean in their lack of actions towards us, they are giving us the answers we need. Women tend to be optimistic when it comes to the male species (especially me). We love to make excuses for their shortcomings while refusing to see what is right in front of us (again, especially me). We have created this pattern of over over-analyzation with every man and in every relationship. This over thinking has got to end. It’s not complicated. It’s simple.
Here are some basic tips to understanding his level of interest in you (no over thinking required):
1. No call/text = he’s not thinking about you
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a f*cking phone call.”- Greg Behrendt (author of He’s Just Not That Into You)
2. No invitation = he’s not interested
If he is not asking you out, he is not interested in being with you. By him not inviting you to hang out with him, he is not interested in taking this relationship any further and you shouldn’t be either.
3. The word “busy” = he’s not interested
“I’m about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.” – Greg Behrendt
4. If you have to question his feelings for you = he doesn’t have feelings for you
“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves. Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.”- Greg Behrendt
5. No answer = your answer answer
If he is finding a way to avoid answering the question you are asking, he is avoiding giving you the answer that you do not want to hear. He is choosing to avoid the topic at hand. Whatever is happening between you two, he doesn’t want to lose it, so he is going to avoid the end as much as he can. Thus, he will play dumb and avoid the question at all costs and there is your answer.
We need to stop overthinking mens interest in us, it’s something that should be crystal clear. Rather than making excuses and being optimistic towards the situation, we need to see what is right in front of us. If he is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. Ladies, characterized men by their actions and you will never be fooled their words. Keep your eyes open and stop over thinking it !
Featured image via @trihadirini