We’ve all encountered ghosting to some degree. Either you’ve been ghosted, you’ve ghosted someone or you and a romantic interest mutually ghosted each other. Contact between you and this person just ceased suddenly with no real explanation other than a lack of interest. It’s not exactly civil but happens, we come to terms with the situation and we move on.
Today as I was flipping through the Cosmo Discover Page on Snapchat (you know its finals season when..) I came across a life changing discovery. An actual name and definition for the phenomenon that has plagued the 2016/2017 generation of “stories” – it’s called haunting and it’s the literal worst.
Haunting by definition is when someone from your romantic past lingers in your digital presence by occasionally watching your Instagram or Snapchat story, or sporadically liking your posts.
A haunt is a ghost from a previous relationship (or almost relationship) that somehow got stuck in your online realm. They show up to spook you without any warning and, because they come and go when they please, you just have to wait them out. There is no such thing as a ghostbuster for a haunted ex and if that’s not terrifying I don’t know what is.
Haunting is so much worse than ghosting and heres why:
1. It’s creepy AF
Okay, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t creep. I creep, I’m the queen of the creep – if we have met (even just once) I probably know your dogs name and the last place you vacationed (tbh I probably much more than that). But I’m strategic in my creeping, I don’t want other people to know how creepy I really am (oopppiess). But when a guy haunts you, it’s like he doesn’t even care. He’s just sitting there being all “heyyyyyy I’m watching you”…… CREEPY!
2. It’s a quiet little reminder this person still exits
Haunting is much more than silently lurking on someones social media from relationship hell (which I obviously NEVER do). It’s a reminder in the form of a notification, or a name in the recently “viewed” column of your stories that this person once existed (to you) and that ending things doesn’t mean they have stopped existing. These little reminders can be incredibly disorienting – why do these dead relationships need to linger? If communication is cut off everywhere else, why are you knowingly lurking around in my digital sphere?
3. It messes with your head
When you see that name your mind swirls with questions. Did he want me to know he saw my story? Did he mean to view my story? Does he want to talk to me? Do I want to talk to him……. Our minds race with questions which is of course a waste of time, this person is out of our lives for a reason.
So to all the ex’s out there haunting; blatantly viewing our stories with no regard for anyone but themselves – JUST STOP. Take a tip from me and silently creep from the sidelines, this way your creeping effects no one but your haunting self. Ok? OK.
Feature image via weheartit