Self-love is a tough subject. People are constantly aiming for it yet often times have great difficulty achieving it.
I recently fell in love with who I am. Flaws and all. It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was a long drawn-out process. But it happened, and I’m here to tell you what it feels like.
Maybe you already love yourself and just don’t know it yet? Maybe you’re close but don’t know what to look for to verify your self-love? Whatever your story, take a few minutes and browse the in’s and out’s of self-love I’m about to share with you.
- You acknowledge your flaws. And you accept them and realize that trying to achieve perfection is not only unhealthy but insane. Trust me. No one cares about that scar you got when you were ten that doesn’t allow your foundation to glide on flawlessly. In fact, that scar makes you a badass with a story to tell. That scar gives you character.
- You stop comparing yourself to others. I am not, and never will be, taller than 5’3 (and a half), excess weight will never only distribute to my butt and boobs and I sure as hell will never have legs for days. And that’s okay. I wasn’t made like that. I was made with big hips and a bigger mouth (thanks, Mom) and there is truly no one like me (and no one like you either). It’s a waste of your time comparing yourself to people with different DNA. So stop it.
- You start actively treating yourself better. Gone are the days of drinking so much you’re out of commission for the next two. Hello, moderate alcohol consumption and responsibility because you want to be functional the next day. Feelings of wanting to actually feel alive become more prominent. You start walking around outside (shit – maybe even running), working out, smelling the fresh air, smiling at other people, you are kind, what is happening. Love is happening. Self-love.
- Treating yourself better part two. When you fall in love with yourself, you start wanting to treat not only your body but, your mind better too. You’ll start thinking good thoughts for no reason. Or even better, you’ll start clearing your mind entirely. When you love yourself, your brain is insanely calmer. Anxiety be gone!
- You stop gossiping. Why does it matter if “what’s her name” cut all her hair off and started carrying around an iguana? Let her be. “You do you, and I’ll do me” is a new motto you’ll probably adopt. When you truly love yourself, you realize that all anyone is trying to do is love their self too. If Becky loves who she is when she wears five different prints at once then she’s one-upping you already.
- You learn how to say “no”. This one is a big one for me. I’m what some may call a “people pleaser”, “push-over” or “passive”. I would agree to things in hopes of not stirring the pot. I would go to clubs I had no interest in just because everyone else was doing it. Now, I am able to say no. I am able to be confident in the fact that not participating in things will not tarnish relationships with friends (and if it does, well then what kind of friend is that anyway).
- You’re not afraid of conflict. No longer will you stay quiet about things you are passionate about. If you disagree, you say it. You are less complacent and you realize your opinion does matter.
There are many tell-tale signs that you love yourself, this doesn’t even scratch the surface. But these seven little things are the changes that I have noticed when I started genuinely feeling self-love.
Falling in and out of love with yourself constantly is exhausting and exhilarating. Acknowledge how awesome you are, you beautiful beast, you.
Remember: It’s okay to acknowledge how awesome you are.